Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
