it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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