I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize