this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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