just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
