Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How naked do you want me to be?
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