That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
