she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
