Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize