Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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