It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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