This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
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Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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