Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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