Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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