If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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