You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
