drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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