You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize