Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize