Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
