have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
