oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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