whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
