omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
