So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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