then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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