even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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