some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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