i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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