Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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