I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
