I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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