Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We have so much sex to catch up on
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
