This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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