Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
