as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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