It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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