Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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