Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
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I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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