dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Found the puke drawer
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
