508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
