If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
