I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
