I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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