Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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