i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No subtext here. People are naked.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
