how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
