Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
