Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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