okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
