I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize