i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
