I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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