i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have aggressive nipples.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
