I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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