google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
