saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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