Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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