oh god the rape fog is back!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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