At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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